You know those stories about how people sometimes rally right before they die & experience lucidity & energy they've lacked for awhile? I wonder if pets do that sometimes too.
Whether it's that or Sammie is just feeling a little better tonight, it was wonderful to see her eat and drink some. My DD was able to get her to eat several treats this evening. DD was very pleased and excited at her progress in this regard and so was I. I'll try to give her canned food in the morning and she if she'll take that.
Sammie, having been abused as a puppy before I got her, has never been a complainer. If she ever whines at all, I feel horrible since I know she must be in terrible discomfort. She barely reacts if I accidentally clip her nails too far or step on her. So, I worry a little bit that I won't know if she is in pain - if it is time to be the humane doggie mom I've always promised myself and her I will be. I include this concern in my daily prayers now. God knows all & I have to trust that God will allow Sammie to let me know when I have to let her go.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
A spark of hope
I got Sammie to eat a couple of treats from my hand, but obviously that isn't much. I've pulled myself together at this point. I know Andy and I will need to explain things to Morrow soon. Sammie was able to get to her feet without help and slowly make her way obediently outside to do her business.
She's a good dog. Very obedient. Knows and follows several commands. One major exception to this is that she has never been able to go outside off leash. She can't help herself - she follows her nose or her eyes after birds or whatever the wind brings to her attention. If she is part beagle and/or greyhound, this would fit. Some breeds don't train well for off-leash activities. She never has.
Sammie is outside, hopefully enjoying the sun. She's a sunbather. Pepper is not. As a puppy, Pepper would walk around outside in Sammie's shadow! It was cute. Now Pepper is roughly twice Sammie's weight, so that doesn't work anymore and hasn't for years. Sammie, on the other hand, usually smiles for the sun and wiggles around on her back enjoying every minute of it. I'd best check on her.
She's a good dog. Very obedient. Knows and follows several commands. One major exception to this is that she has never been able to go outside off leash. She can't help herself - she follows her nose or her eyes after birds or whatever the wind brings to her attention. If she is part beagle and/or greyhound, this would fit. Some breeds don't train well for off-leash activities. She never has.
Sammie is outside, hopefully enjoying the sun. She's a sunbather. Pepper is not. As a puppy, Pepper would walk around outside in Sammie's shadow! It was cute. Now Pepper is roughly twice Sammie's weight, so that doesn't work anymore and hasn't for years. Sammie, on the other hand, usually smiles for the sun and wiggles around on her back enjoying every minute of it. I'd best check on her.
Could the end be near? Doggie heaven...
Truthfully, I didn't even like writing that title, but I'm hoping that by writing it and giving this distinct possibility an airing on here I can start to accept it. I could barely get Sammie to eat little bits of a yummy treat out of my hand a few minutes ago. Maybe this will pass by tonight or tomorrow morning. That's happened before.
It has been stormy here the past couple of days and Sammie has never liked storms. We've had to give her (& Pepper) some "doggie downers" to help them through all the thunder and lightning. Sometimes storms and the drugs keep them from eating as much temporarily. Could that be it? Or am I just doing some wishful thinking that my Sammie isn't really on a path to euthanasia or dying in her sleep right here?
One thing is for sure - I'm bawling again like I did back in November when I got the cancer diagnosis for her. She has done remarkably well since then and I've let it fool me into believing that maybe the diagnosis wasn't quite right or perhaps it wasn't as bad as the vet tech said it was. Maybe...perhaps...is it possible? Is she really going to die? Not MY SAMMIE! Of course, she will at some point. I've always known that. But we don't talk much about death in our culture and we fight it tooth and nail with anti-aging products and age-defying (okay, more age-denying really) techniques and talk. But we all die eventually. It's part of the Circle of Life.
I believe dogs go to heaven. How could it be heaven if they don't?! I love that poem I've seen before that talks of a dog owner (doggie parent!) who meets up again with their beloved canine companion in heaven after their own death and what a joyful reunion it is when their wonderful dog is as active and happy as a puppy again! The poem speaks of the dog coming up to its master with a wagging tail and a knowing lick.
Okay, I have so many tears streaming down my face now that I can't see to write. I have to stop for now. Don't tell me Sammie is "just a dog." She's my FIRST dog - my first kid, if you will. And she's old & sick. I love her and I'm going to go hug her right now.
It has been stormy here the past couple of days and Sammie has never liked storms. We've had to give her (& Pepper) some "doggie downers" to help them through all the thunder and lightning. Sometimes storms and the drugs keep them from eating as much temporarily. Could that be it? Or am I just doing some wishful thinking that my Sammie isn't really on a path to euthanasia or dying in her sleep right here?
One thing is for sure - I'm bawling again like I did back in November when I got the cancer diagnosis for her. She has done remarkably well since then and I've let it fool me into believing that maybe the diagnosis wasn't quite right or perhaps it wasn't as bad as the vet tech said it was. Maybe...perhaps...is it possible? Is she really going to die? Not MY SAMMIE! Of course, she will at some point. I've always known that. But we don't talk much about death in our culture and we fight it tooth and nail with anti-aging products and age-defying (okay, more age-denying really) techniques and talk. But we all die eventually. It's part of the Circle of Life.
I believe dogs go to heaven. How could it be heaven if they don't?! I love that poem I've seen before that talks of a dog owner (doggie parent!) who meets up again with their beloved canine companion in heaven after their own death and what a joyful reunion it is when their wonderful dog is as active and happy as a puppy again! The poem speaks of the dog coming up to its master with a wagging tail and a knowing lick.
Okay, I have so many tears streaming down my face now that I can't see to write. I have to stop for now. Don't tell me Sammie is "just a dog." She's my FIRST dog - my first kid, if you will. And she's old & sick. I love her and I'm going to go hug her right now.
Not eating a treat? Vet visit last week
Let me pause from my trip down memory lane to Sammie's puppyhood and the arrival of "uncle Max." (My mom basically considers Max my brother's and my canine sibling, so that makes him Sammie's uncle, right?)
This morning, Sammie didn't accept a treat. We're not talking about her usual dog food here, but a DOGGIE TREAT. These are usually fought for, if necessary, with adopted canine sister Pepper and most certainly welcomed with open, drooling mouth. Not this morning. This makes me sad. And concerned. This is not normal, not even for aging Sammie.
Sam & Pepper had their semi-annual "senior visits" to the vet last week. That's when I got the firm evidence that our observations were correct. Sammie, who has always been very slim to start with, has lost 20% of her body weight. This is not good. She has maintained her weight steadily at 40-42 lbs her entire adult life. No amount of treats, canned food, available-24-hrs-a-day regular food or even people food could make this dog weigh more than 42 lbs. That was her weight and she maintained it faithfully for the past 13 years. Until now.
We (meaning our family & the vet) don't know if the weight loss is due to the cancer or what, but we don't like seeing bones. She has been eating. Well, until this morning. I want to see her eat. This bothers me.
This morning, Sammie didn't accept a treat. We're not talking about her usual dog food here, but a DOGGIE TREAT. These are usually fought for, if necessary, with adopted canine sister Pepper and most certainly welcomed with open, drooling mouth. Not this morning. This makes me sad. And concerned. This is not normal, not even for aging Sammie.
Sam & Pepper had their semi-annual "senior visits" to the vet last week. That's when I got the firm evidence that our observations were correct. Sammie, who has always been very slim to start with, has lost 20% of her body weight. This is not good. She has maintained her weight steadily at 40-42 lbs her entire adult life. No amount of treats, canned food, available-24-hrs-a-day regular food or even people food could make this dog weigh more than 42 lbs. That was her weight and she maintained it faithfully for the past 13 years. Until now.
We (meaning our family & the vet) don't know if the weight loss is due to the cancer or what, but we don't like seeing bones. She has been eating. Well, until this morning. I want to see her eat. This bothers me.
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